i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
