she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
