Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize