his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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