sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize