YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
