margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize