Im at strip club and am horny
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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