ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
