My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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