after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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