I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
too bad you live with your parents still
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
