So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
