Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
