i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
