Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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