whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
