Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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