are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
