He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
