Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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