They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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