So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
