he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize