He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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