This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
