He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
