I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It's Friday. Sex?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
