She's JV to your varsity
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
