I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
