im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
