first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
