That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
