They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
