I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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