I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Too much gin, very little bucket
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
