so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
