the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize