I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize