I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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