no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Umm I'm too high to move.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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