Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
