It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
