White coat. Heels.
I'm so fucking centered right now
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize