hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it's like heaven, but drunker
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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