As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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