hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
