u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
