One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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