I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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