I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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