Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
