the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
