I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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