like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
