I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
