I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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