So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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