Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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