i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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