Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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