in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
