Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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