I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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