There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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