We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
