the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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