Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Please don't give away my fajitas
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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