yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
