what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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