Im at strip club and am horny
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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